Cory's Uber Space

Ok, another year has passed. I am now 8 years sober. Wow! I have gotten complacent in my sobriety, and am paying for it. The promisises only come from working the program, and lately I have not been doing so. This leads me to be unhappy, selfish, selfcentered, and feel like crap inside. I need to be in step work or I may as well go drink again. So, now that I have Face Book, I will do my steps on there. Nope still not going to go all out and air my dirty laundry out there but I will try to be consistent and as open as possible for the forum used. Thank you all for your support over the years.

Cpl. German, one of the Marines severly burned in the IED incident is recovering. Now he is an out patient in San Antonio. God Bless you German.

Gunny G.

I was at my VA appointment today and as we came to the end of my session (those of you who know me, know I am having some issues with my last tour in Iraq), the man asked me why they see so few Marines. He was making an observation. I was not sure but told him most Marines chose to suffer in silence, or drink the "bad crazies" away. I can't stay in my head like that so I learned (from AA) you have to ask for it to get help. So I have no idea why Marines are not asking for help. Must be the "manly man" mentality. I have had two friends commit suicide due to being too stuborn to ask for help. Screw that! If I need it I go get it. It is the stronger man who askes for help.

It always boggles my mind on how no matter how long you are with someone, they constantly show you new things. It has got to be Gods way of keeping us on our toes and interested. I am constatly finding new things out about Patrice, my kids, my friends. I never stop learning. Now if I could just apply that knowledge to practical purposes I could prevent alot of frustration. Some days I feel lost and alone, like I don't know these people in my life, then something happens familliar and I am returned to "normal". Lately (February) I have been having a huge problem with the war memories in my head. I go back to those places and it is "real". I can't explain it and I don't think people understand the reality of it. So that is when I need "normal" behavior from my family. When the stress at home gets high and I am in a bad place in my head... I want to run. Run away and be alone. I can't do that though. It would be unhealthy. So I fight through it and pray alot and hope for just one hug to make it alll ok again. I am just rambling now so I will stop. Hope all is well with everyone.

Cory.

Wow life on lifes terms. Sometimes I let life overwhelm me. This week was a good grounding experiance. As my troubles change as the tides I am reminded to keep God in front so I can remain sober, which leads to the rest of my life falling into place. It has passed the time of my last big "engagement" during Operation Phantom Fury. The memories are still very fresh and my mind still goes there sometimes. As this wave breaks I find my footing more stable as I ground myself in God. Thank you Charles and Bob for being there to remind me that the battle scares fade ...even the ones in my mind.

I will never agin make fun of the guys that come back from recruiting duty. It is the most difficult and by far most demanding job in the Marine Corps. God bless the ones who made it 3 years out here. I don't say that to demean other jobs, trust me I have been to combat two times and was awarded for valor on the battle field. This job is way harded than combat in the fact that in combat you know eventually you get to fight back. You get to break contact and you get to move on. This duty puts you in direct contact with the target objective daily... for 3 years. No break, lol.  No trip to Australia on the way home. Not 7 months of intensity and then a 30 day leave period. Nope all day every day you are "in the sh^t". some times I miss the combat duty. It paid a little better and the frustration was not so high, lol. So to all my brother Marine Recruiters, God Bless and I hope we all get a 2.0 so we can go back to the Fleet for a break. Semper Fi all,

Cory